All About Linux: GNU To Linux? Read This First!

http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Lunix

“
I haven't been laid in a year. :( I think it's my distro. What version
are you guys running? „
—Welcome to Lunix!

“
I always eagerly wait for the new Lunix kernel. When I think of what
compilation commands to use I get a huge boner and I often masturbate
during the compilation. Some time ago I bought a new computer that
compiles the kernel so fast I don't have time to cum. So I compile it twice.
„


—Typical Lunix user. Hope he runs make clean!


"linux.exe, pronounced Ginoo Slash Linnucks, is a common computer virus
that affects users in such a way that it turns them into complete
faggots. After stealing the UNIX core from Apple, Linus Torvalds, via
his system administrator god-complex, aptly named the program "Linux"
after himself.

More commonly known as Lunix ("the Loser's UNIX"), it is the
poor-man's version of the monolithic UNIX system; also, it is the most
powerful contraceptives evar, in the universe, anywhere. The moar one
learns about Lunix, the moar powerful its Template:Exlink become. It is
recommended that you try Lunix, since everyone knows your gonads are
made of fail. In other words, Lunix is a computerized sex-surrogate for
asspies.

It is an operating system that was the result of really crappy
reverse-engineering efforts to create a free version of UNIX. Linus
Torvalds and Alan Cox are the perpetrators behind this travesty. Tons of
people use it, especially hippies, and no one really likes it except the
terminally uncool. Most of them use it in violation of SCO's
intellectual property rights. To use Lunix legally, one must pay a $699
license fee to SCO for each processor that runs the Lunix kernel. In
short, Lunix was a great idea with an awful outcome.

Lunix, like the Macintosh, attracts legions of fanboys. These
penguinistas form communities that are irresistible to trolls. Though
especially rabid on defense, penguinistas can rarely give it as good as
they take it.


Lunix trolls, in the guise of advocacy, often go to other communities
to evangelize about Lunix on the slimmest pretense. Unlike most drama,
the flame wars between OS advocates aren't entertaining. Neither is
Lunix' rampant balkanization by butthurt programmers with an axe to grind.


Lunix is the Communist or anarchist version of Microsoft. Leftards love
it and Rightards love to laugh when they see the lumpenprogrammeriat
trying too hard.